Chapter 13 - Part 1

Chapter 13 – Tom

I felt my dad’s arms around me and felt like I was in a dream. It felt like the kind of dream that you wake up from and wish you could stay asleep just so you could burrow back into that happiness your mind had created and that you were sure you wouldn’t find in the waking world. This felt safer than that, though. It didn’t feel like it would disappear. I wouldn’t let the memory of it disappear in any case. This would always be mine.

Dad let go of me finally and we both laughed, as we had to dry our eyes. Mom and Brittney laughed, too.

It was time to go on to more scenes from our lives, though and suddenly we were in a theatre. I didn’t recognize the place at all, but then I saw a shadow of mom walk onto the stage with a man I didn’t recognize either and they started to sing. I looked over at mom and all the color had drained from her face. I was afraid she might faint. I went over to catch her if she fell. At almost the same moment I heard Dad say, “Oh no. Not this. I can’t face this again.”

I patted Dad on the back. “You can do it, Dad. I know you can.” I did know he could. He had just faced his demons with me. He could do it here as well. Dad looked at me for a long moment. Then his face seemed to shift from despair to resolve and he went down the aisle to find his shadow self.

We watched him go and then the scene shifted again and the last of the well-wishers were saying goodbye to my mom’s shadow self. My father sat alone in the middle of the theatre where he had watched the recital and where he had not moved since it ended. It must be exactly like it had been after that last recital of my mother’s. The difference this time, though, was that my dad stood behind my shadow dad and I knew he’d be urging him to respond differently. Hopefully, the old dad would listen to the promptings that would be given to him.

My mom stood with us watching tensely. Then she, too, left us and went to follow her shadow self to where my dad sat.

My shadow mom sat down next to my shadow dad. She looked beautiful and she was smiling radiantly. I had never seen her that way before. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She looked almost like a different person entirely. She was so full of some kind of energy. It must be energy that the singing gave to her or maybe the performing or maybe both. Her smile faded quickly, though, as she saw my father’s face.

My now dad bent and started whispering frantically into his own ear. The shadow dad who looked like he had been about to say something harsh, responded by pursing his lips instead and turning away.

My shadow mom with my real mom behind her, leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. “What’s the matter, Sam?” she asked. “Didn’t you like the show?”

My dad started whispering again in that old dad’s ear – frantically – over and over. I saw some of the tension go out of the man in the seats and with it some of the anger, too. “I want to be honest with you, Sonya,” he said. “I love to hear you sing. It’s one of my favorite things in the whole world.”

My mother smiled tenderly at him. Brittney leaned over to me and whispered, “Affirming Worth!” She was consulting her papers.

“But –“ my dad continued, “when you sang with that man,” my dad stopped and shook his head, “I don’t know what happened to me. I hated it! I’ve always felt like singing was something we shared since we met at one of your recitals, but when I saw you sing with that man, I thought that I’ve been a fool – it’s not something I can ever share with you like that man did. I just –“ dad broke off before starting again, “I just don’t want to have to share you.”

I leaned over to Brittney and whispered, “Integrity.” She shuffled her papers and then gave me a thumbs up.

“Oh Sam,” my mom said and she took his face in both of her hands, “Thank you for telling me honestly how you feel. That means so much to me! And, just so you know, you don’t ever have to share me. I love to sing to you. I love to see your face in the audience. It’s only you I ever really sing to.” Then she laughed. “You know, I didn’t much like singing with that other man, either.”

“You didn’t?” Dad asked –incredulous, hopeful.

“No,” mom admitted, “Maybe –“ she stopped to think as our mom from today put her hand on her shoulder and told her something. Then the shadow mom shook her head, “No. I was going to say, that maybe I could ask to not sing with any other men again, but I know there are things I can’t learn any other way and I want to be the best that I can be. Can you understand that Sam?”

Dad slowly nodded.

“You are just going to have to trust me, Sam. I am your wife and a shared song can’t change that.”

“I’m afraid that I’ll need you to remind me a whole lot,” Dad admitted.

Mom laughed, her radiance from the show still lighting her up. “That’s a deal, Sam. I will try my best. I love you,” she said.

“I love you, too, Sonya,” he said and he kissed her there in the recital hall before the scene dissolved around us once again.

Then it was my real dad facing my real mom. “Thank you,” Mom said.

“I do love you, Sonya,” Dad said. “And I do want you to sing.”

“I do so want to sing, Sam,” Mom said closing her eyes. “But I do love you, too.”

Dad took Mom’s hand and they walked back over to where we were standing. “Way to go Dad!” Brittney said giving him a high five. I gave him a high five, too. Then we high-fived Mom. It was a good break before we had to face our next ghosts from the past.