Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Author's Note
So, that's the end. Chapter 15 wraps everything up. I didn't quite make 50,000 words, but the story is done and I am tired and so that will just have to do. This is Katy signing off -- until next year!!! I love NaNoWriMo!
Chapter 15
Chapter 15 – Sonya
I was definitely developing a love-hate relationship with this carnival’s haunted house. Each new scenario was hard to face but I was happy with how we could re-script them with the principles we had learned in the carnival. The amazing thing was that it seemed to be healing our family in a way that nothing else ever had. Brittney was right. We were hugging each other a lot more. We loved each other more. We appreciated being treated this way – the way the principles taught us to treat each other -- and we loved the people who were treating us the way we wanted to be treated. It was a lovely thing. It was an amazing thing.
I could feel we were getting close to the end, too. We were getting to the point Ken wanted for us. I could tell. It wouldn’t be much longer now.
A new scene appeared around us. It was morning time in the kitchen. It looked as though Tom had already left for school and Brittney was just finishing up. I was starting to make some breakfast for myself. Sam was in the kitchen, too, and he was beginning his breakfast very slowly, watching me extremely carefully. Could this be . . . I studied Sam again. Could this be the week he got mad at me for not making him breakfast?
I looked over at the real Sam. His mouth was set in a grim line and he was shaking his head as he walked over to have a talk with himself. I was perplexed. I didn’t know if I should go encourage myself to make Sam breakfast or just let it be. I wished I had noticed that he needed some extra care, but then he couldn’t expect me to always be knowing what he needed without telling me. It set me up to fail and for him to be continually upset with me. I was not a mind reader and I didn’t want to always be keyed up wondering if there was something else I needed to do for Sam. I decided to not do anything. I just watched.
Brittney’s friends came to the door and I watched as I kissed her goodbye. Sam had been whispering to his shadow self this whole time. After Brittney left, I watched as Sam turned to me and said, “Sonya, could I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Sam. What’s the matter?”
“I’m under a lot of pressure at work this week and I was just wondering if . . . well, if you wouldn’t mind if you could just make me breakfast this week.”
“Are you not going to have as much time in the mornings as usual?” I heard myself asked.
“No. I will. I just want to know that I have your support.”
My face softened. “Of course you have my support, Sam. And if it will help, I will make breakfast for you this week.”
“Thanks, Sonya,” Sam said. “It would really mean a lot to me.”
I smiled at him. “I’m happy to help,” I heard myself say.
The scene changed instantly. It changed so quickly this time that it made my head whirl. We were back in the park and the family reunion was in full swing. I was sitting visiting with some ladies and as I looked up, Sam was charging toward me. The real Sam who had been standing next to me, ran to intercept himself.
I watched with trepidation as the old Sam came and stood in front of the old me. He didn’t yell, though. He took a deep breath. “Sonya,” he said, “do you have my keys?”
“Y-your keys?” The old me still faltered when confronted by him I noticed sadly
.
“Yes! My keys! You borrowed them to put your dish back in the car.” He took another deep breath to calm himself, “If you have them, I’d like them back.”
I knelt down beside the old me. “He’s not going to be mean or humiliating, Sonya. It’s alright. He needs you now, though, and he may be willing to talk.”
I watched as the old me checked her pockets. “I do have them, Sam. Why don’t I walk with you to the car? Excuse me ladies.”
I stood up and walked next to him taking his arm. He put his hand on top of mine. “I was really angry at you when I couldn’t find my keys, but for some reason I found myself thinking that if I were totally honest with myself, I’d know that I was really angry at my mother and not at you.” He squeezed my hand. “Thanks for coming to talk to me.” He chuckled. “I can’t believe I almost thrust you away from me when you make me feel so much better.”
“I’m glad you didn’t, Sam. I hate to see you hurting and it’s so much better when you let me be close to you.”
They walked on in silence.
I joined Sam – the new Sam – my Sam. “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could always act that way?” I asked him as I put my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder.
“It sure would, Sonya. It sure would,” he said.
I closed my eyes to enjoy the moment and when I opened them, we were riding on a large fiberglass swan floating down the tunnel of love. I laughed in disbelief. Tom let out a whoop and Brittney said, “We’re going home! We’re going home!”
We snuggled down in the boat with our arms around each other and when we got to the side tunnel where Tommy had tried to go all those hours before, our swan turned merrily and took us away from the carnival and back toward life.
We found ourselves in darkness for several seconds and then suddenly, we weren’t in the boat at all, but in our car racing toward home – speeding in the right direction. The roads were wet and the car was wet, but the rain had stopped and the sun was just bursting through the clouds making everything glitter and shine. Sam slammed on the brakes and we stopped at the side of the road. We all got out.
Sam was turning in a slow circle, scanning the fields in every direction. I started to do the same, but it was no use. We could see no sign of a carnival. There was no sign of the carnival where we had spent the last three days of our lives.
Sam put his arm around me and then around Brittney and then he grabbed Tommy, too. I looked up at him and was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “It may be gone, but I am going to do better. I’m going to try to remember it. I’ve got it all right here.” He moved his hand to tap his heart, but as he did so he felt the papers in his chest pocket. He slowly drew them out. He smiled at me, “Look at that, Cinderella! It’s our glass slipper!”
I smiled back at him. “So it is.”
“What’s that paper, Dad?” Brittney asked, “I didn’t get one of those. You have a paper that I didn’t get!”
Sam looked down in surprise at his papers. To our surprise there was a new paper there. “It’s a phone number of a therapist who lives in our town,” he said quietly not looking up at us. He contemplated the paper for several moments. I wondered if he would consider the ideas of a therapist when he wasn’t trapped in a carnival with his family for hours on end. This would be different. This would have to be his own choice.
He slowly looked up and it was Tom that he looked at. “I guess I did promise to get help with my anger problem, didn’t I?”
Tommy grinned and relief washed through all of us like the sunshine that was lighting up the wetness from the rain. “That you did!” Tom assured him.
“Well,” Sam said, shuffling his papers until he found the one he wanted. He read, “Unless I am released from commitments, I must keep them!”
Brittney dissolved into laughter.
“What?” Sam demanded and started to chase Brittney around the car. She squealed and ran faster.
I put my hand on Sam’s arm and smiled up into his mischievous eyes. “What?” he repeated again.
“Oh Sam,” I said. “Take us home.”
“With pleasure, my sweet,” he said and opened my door.
I was definitely developing a love-hate relationship with this carnival’s haunted house. Each new scenario was hard to face but I was happy with how we could re-script them with the principles we had learned in the carnival. The amazing thing was that it seemed to be healing our family in a way that nothing else ever had. Brittney was right. We were hugging each other a lot more. We loved each other more. We appreciated being treated this way – the way the principles taught us to treat each other -- and we loved the people who were treating us the way we wanted to be treated. It was a lovely thing. It was an amazing thing.
I could feel we were getting close to the end, too. We were getting to the point Ken wanted for us. I could tell. It wouldn’t be much longer now.
A new scene appeared around us. It was morning time in the kitchen. It looked as though Tom had already left for school and Brittney was just finishing up. I was starting to make some breakfast for myself. Sam was in the kitchen, too, and he was beginning his breakfast very slowly, watching me extremely carefully. Could this be . . . I studied Sam again. Could this be the week he got mad at me for not making him breakfast?
I looked over at the real Sam. His mouth was set in a grim line and he was shaking his head as he walked over to have a talk with himself. I was perplexed. I didn’t know if I should go encourage myself to make Sam breakfast or just let it be. I wished I had noticed that he needed some extra care, but then he couldn’t expect me to always be knowing what he needed without telling me. It set me up to fail and for him to be continually upset with me. I was not a mind reader and I didn’t want to always be keyed up wondering if there was something else I needed to do for Sam. I decided to not do anything. I just watched.
Brittney’s friends came to the door and I watched as I kissed her goodbye. Sam had been whispering to his shadow self this whole time. After Brittney left, I watched as Sam turned to me and said, “Sonya, could I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Sam. What’s the matter?”
“I’m under a lot of pressure at work this week and I was just wondering if . . . well, if you wouldn’t mind if you could just make me breakfast this week.”
“Are you not going to have as much time in the mornings as usual?” I heard myself asked.
“No. I will. I just want to know that I have your support.”
My face softened. “Of course you have my support, Sam. And if it will help, I will make breakfast for you this week.”
“Thanks, Sonya,” Sam said. “It would really mean a lot to me.”
I smiled at him. “I’m happy to help,” I heard myself say.
The scene changed instantly. It changed so quickly this time that it made my head whirl. We were back in the park and the family reunion was in full swing. I was sitting visiting with some ladies and as I looked up, Sam was charging toward me. The real Sam who had been standing next to me, ran to intercept himself.
I watched with trepidation as the old Sam came and stood in front of the old me. He didn’t yell, though. He took a deep breath. “Sonya,” he said, “do you have my keys?”
“Y-your keys?” The old me still faltered when confronted by him I noticed sadly
.
“Yes! My keys! You borrowed them to put your dish back in the car.” He took another deep breath to calm himself, “If you have them, I’d like them back.”
I knelt down beside the old me. “He’s not going to be mean or humiliating, Sonya. It’s alright. He needs you now, though, and he may be willing to talk.”
I watched as the old me checked her pockets. “I do have them, Sam. Why don’t I walk with you to the car? Excuse me ladies.”
I stood up and walked next to him taking his arm. He put his hand on top of mine. “I was really angry at you when I couldn’t find my keys, but for some reason I found myself thinking that if I were totally honest with myself, I’d know that I was really angry at my mother and not at you.” He squeezed my hand. “Thanks for coming to talk to me.” He chuckled. “I can’t believe I almost thrust you away from me when you make me feel so much better.”
“I’m glad you didn’t, Sam. I hate to see you hurting and it’s so much better when you let me be close to you.”
They walked on in silence.
I joined Sam – the new Sam – my Sam. “Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could always act that way?” I asked him as I put my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder.
“It sure would, Sonya. It sure would,” he said.
I closed my eyes to enjoy the moment and when I opened them, we were riding on a large fiberglass swan floating down the tunnel of love. I laughed in disbelief. Tom let out a whoop and Brittney said, “We’re going home! We’re going home!”
We snuggled down in the boat with our arms around each other and when we got to the side tunnel where Tommy had tried to go all those hours before, our swan turned merrily and took us away from the carnival and back toward life.
We found ourselves in darkness for several seconds and then suddenly, we weren’t in the boat at all, but in our car racing toward home – speeding in the right direction. The roads were wet and the car was wet, but the rain had stopped and the sun was just bursting through the clouds making everything glitter and shine. Sam slammed on the brakes and we stopped at the side of the road. We all got out.
Sam was turning in a slow circle, scanning the fields in every direction. I started to do the same, but it was no use. We could see no sign of a carnival. There was no sign of the carnival where we had spent the last three days of our lives.
Sam put his arm around me and then around Brittney and then he grabbed Tommy, too. I looked up at him and was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “It may be gone, but I am going to do better. I’m going to try to remember it. I’ve got it all right here.” He moved his hand to tap his heart, but as he did so he felt the papers in his chest pocket. He slowly drew them out. He smiled at me, “Look at that, Cinderella! It’s our glass slipper!”
I smiled back at him. “So it is.”
“What’s that paper, Dad?” Brittney asked, “I didn’t get one of those. You have a paper that I didn’t get!”
Sam looked down in surprise at his papers. To our surprise there was a new paper there. “It’s a phone number of a therapist who lives in our town,” he said quietly not looking up at us. He contemplated the paper for several moments. I wondered if he would consider the ideas of a therapist when he wasn’t trapped in a carnival with his family for hours on end. This would be different. This would have to be his own choice.
He slowly looked up and it was Tom that he looked at. “I guess I did promise to get help with my anger problem, didn’t I?”
Tommy grinned and relief washed through all of us like the sunshine that was lighting up the wetness from the rain. “That you did!” Tom assured him.
“Well,” Sam said, shuffling his papers until he found the one he wanted. He read, “Unless I am released from commitments, I must keep them!”
Brittney dissolved into laughter.
“What?” Sam demanded and started to chase Brittney around the car. She squealed and ran faster.
I put my hand on Sam’s arm and smiled up into his mischievous eyes. “What?” he repeated again.
“Oh Sam,” I said. “Take us home.”
“With pleasure, my sweet,” he said and opened my door.
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