Chapter 9 - Part 1

Chapter 9 – Tom

We sat in the sudden stillness. I think we were in a little bit of shock. My mind had already raced ahead to the thrilling descent and the rush of the loop-de-loop, but now I was jolted to find myself back at the beginning with no hope of ever getting to those thrills I had anticipated unless the ride started again.

“Do you think if we just wait, it will start again?” I ventured hopefully.

Dad looked as unprepared for this turn of events as I felt. “I don’t know,” he said. “I suppose we could wait.”

“Yes! Let’s wait!” Brittney said. “I’m sure it will start again in just a few minutes!”

So, we sat. We didn’t want Mom to worry so we waved down at her to let her know we were all right. Still, nothing happened.

“I think we had better climb down kids,” Dad finally said. “I don’t think this ride is going anywhere.”

There was an emergency release button for the lap bars and after searching around for a minute, we were able to find it and set ourselves free. Brittney got up on her knees to look back down the track and immediately sat back down. She gripped the lap bar and tried to put it back on. It wouldn’t latch anymore, though, now that it had been released.

“It’s okay, Britt,” I tried to comfort her. “We’ll all go down together. I’ll help make sure you don’t fall.” Brittney looked at me, searching my eyes. I couldn’t believe it, but I recognized that look in her eyes – she didn’t believe me! But, I knew why I recognized that look. I had seen it before.

It hurt me when I saw it before and it hurt me now to see it again. It was a Saturday and I needed to go to the library to get some information for a report that was due in school. I could’ve used the internet at home but it was so slow that it took me forever. The one at the library was infinitely better. I was trying to hurry because I wanted to meet up with my friends to see a movie later.

Brittney had stopped me in the hall, “Tom!” she hollered, “Can you please drive me to Shelby’s house?”

“What for?” I had demanded, irritated that she was slowing me down.

“It’s her birthday today!” Brittney wailed. “Mom forgot and she already promised you the car and Dad has already gone to meet with Mr. Boscoe on their project. Please, Tommy?? Shelby always has the best parties and everyone I know is going!”

“What time is it at?” I growled.

“Not until four!” she said practically jumping up and down. I could see the hope bursting in her eyes.

“All right,” I had promised. “I have to go to the library but I’ll come back and get you and take you to Shelby’s.”

“Thank you, Tommy! Thank you!”

I didn’t, though. I forgot. Actually, I remembered on the way to the movie theatre. I had decided that I’d go straight from the library to the theatre so I wouldn’t be late, but on the way there, I remembered Brittney. If I had turned back then, though, I would’ve missed the movie – so I kept on driving.

I felt bad, though. I really did! But, I thought that she could get a ride with one of her friends and it would probably turn out fine. Why should I ruin my time with my friends if she already had it worked out? I convinced myself that she did have it worked out and tried to put it out of my mind.

I got home late that night. My mom was finishing up in the kitchen and all she said to me was, “I can’t believe that you would do that to your sister,” and she turned and left the room.

“What?” I called after her and went to Brittney’s room to find out what had happened.

“Britt!” I called, opening the door. “Did you go to your party?”

Brittney’s eyes were red. It looked like she had been crying. My heart twisted inside of me. “You know that I didn’t!” she yelled back at me.

“Why didn’t you call one of your friends? You said everyone was going!”

“Why would I call one of my friends?” she demanded. “I asked you to take me and you said you would.”

I felt like a bug. I felt so small and low and I saw in her pain, pain that I had felt, too, in my life. It wasn’t just pain from missing out on the fun that all her friends had without her, although that can be staggering. It was the pain of betrayal. I had betrayed her. She didn’t know if she could trust me anymore. How could I do to her what I hated having done to me?

Now here she was looking at me with those same eyes. This wasn’t the same thing at all! I wasn’t going to be away from her, there was no way I would forget about my commitment to not let her fall. I suppose you can’t afford to drain away a person’s trust, because when you really need it, you might find that you haven’t built up any kind of a store at all.

“Come on, Brittney,” Dad tried. “I’ll help you. We’ll get down just fine.”

“No!” Brittney said shaking her head violently and refusing to look at either of us. “I’m staying right here!”

“Brittney,” my dad said soothingly, trying to pry her fingers from the bar, “just trust me.”

“No!” Brittney shouted and she wrapped both of her arms around the lap bar and buried her head in her arms.

Dad looked at me, bewildered. I just looked back at him and shrugged. I didn’t know what to do.

“There’s nothing else we can do, Brittney,” Dad said. “We have to either climb down or stay here forever! We’ll have to sleep here. There’s no blankets!”

“Yeah!” I said, chiming in, “and we’d have nothing to eat! What will we do when we get hungry?”

Brittney slowly brought her head up.

“You’d hate to miss lunch, wouldn’t you Britt?” Dad asked. “There’s nothing up here, but down on the ground we could find pizza again – maybe even cotton candy!”

Brittney eyed him carefully. “Pink?” she asked.

Dad nodded gratefully. “Yes. Definitely pink. It’s the best kind after all, isn’t it?”

“Yep!” Brittney agreed.

“So, will you let Tommy and I get you down from here?”

“One thing,” Brittney said.

“Name it.”

“I don’t want pizza. I want Runzas!” Then she grinned.

Dad and I laughed.

It wasn’t really hard to climb down after that. We had sat in the front car so we climbed back from car to car until we reached the end car. From there we climbed onto the track, which had a rubber traction mat that helped grab the cars and push them upward. It was grippy enough that there was no real danger of us slipping. We walked the rest of the way down. Brittney ran into Mom’s waiting arms.

“I want you to come next time!” Brittney said into Mom’s shoulder.

Hopefully there wouldn’t be a next time, but if there were, hopefully Dad and I both would be a little bit better in our Integrity so that Brittney would have some more trust stored up in us.

Just then we saw Ken walking toward us. “Hey!” Dad called. “What’s wrong with your roller coaster?”

“What do you think is wrong with it?” Ken asked.

“Well, it stopped halfway up the first hill. It stopped before it had practically even begun!”

“Ahh,” Ken said. “Not as much fun that way?”

“No!” I joined in. “That’s not fun at all! Look at all those hills and that loop! We wanted to do all the fun stuff that ride is supposed to be able to do!”

“Hmmm,” Ken said. “So you think it would have been better to keep climbing?”

“Definitely!” I said.

“It’s hard for the machines, you know,” Ken said. “That big hill takes the most machines and fuel.”

“It’s be worth it, though,” said my dad softly looking with admiration at the big roller coaster.

“How about you, Sam?” Ken asked. “Are there any big hills in your life that would be worth climbing? We all need to keep growing, don’t you think? We all want to enjoy good things but they all have big hills first, have you noticed?”

“Brittney,” Ken said turning suddenly to her and not waiting for an answer from Dad, “did you want to learn to walk home from school on your own?”

Anger flared up in me. Climbing down from the roller coaster had scared her enough for today, Ken didn’t need to scare her more by reminding her of that day when she had tried to walk home herself. My anger almost immediately turned to bafflement, though as I saw her eyes grow wide and her lips tremble, but her head nodded yes.

And then I was surprised that I hadn’t thought of that sooner. Of course, Brittney still wanted to learn to walk home from school on her own. Of course, she would feel bad about herself if she felt like she couldn’t manage something like that on her own. Of course her self-esteem would rise if she figured it out and did it on her own. I felt disappointment in myself again. That seemed to be happening a lot at this carnival. I should have helped her out. I could have as her big brother that her mom and dad could not.

I was surprised then when Ken turned to Mom instead of toward me, “Sonya, have you stopped this little girl’s car so that she can’t grow and enjoy the ride ahead?”

My mom’s eyes filled with pain, but I could see she understood. “I was only trying to keep her safe,” mom whispered.

“Like at the ball game,” Ken continued, “when you took her home?”

“She was hurt!” mom cried out in defiance.

“What hurts more – to get hit by a baseball or to not ever play baseball with your dad and your brother?”

My mom looked down. I couldn’t tell if she was accepting his words or trying to block them out.

“Did you stop her car half-way up the tracks? Do you need to let her go so that she can grow?”